As you can see by the date stamp on the posts previous to this one, I wrote these thoughts nearly four years ago. Although I published them here on this blog, I never shared them with anyone publicly before today.
Over the past few years I have gone to see several counselors, participated in groups, and finally am at peace with myself and the fact that I have been through two back to back 10 year long abusive relationships. I do not make this public now in order to harm those men in anyway. I do so only so that you can know me more deeply, my experiences, and what makes me who I am today. I am beyond all of it, well nearly. I'm not sure that anyone can be completely beyond something that they still so vividly remember. But I am in a much healthier place than I've even been before. I share this with you now so that other women who are in a similar place can know that they are not the only one, they do not have to hide in fear and shame, they too can heal. Statistics indicate that one in three women worldwide are abused by their partners. ONE in THREE. Wow. That's hard to imagine.
I'm not sure what I will do with this blog going forward. I would like to write more, from a place of healing rather than the place of hurting from which I was writing when I penned the previous posts. Uplifting and positive words are on the tip of my tongue. As time permits, I will share my thoughts here. If you have thoughts to share, please do so here in the comments sections, or send me an email coolsarahs@gmail.com. I will be happy to correspond with you either way. I hope this is helpful to others in some way, and helpful to me to be more fully honest with others about who I am.
(I must add a note that when I wrote the pieces previous to this one, I had not told a single soul about what I had gone through. NOBODY knew anything. I had not yet seen any counselors, nor learned much of anything about abusive relationships. So some of what I wrote was from a place of ignorance about how these relationships are created, how they work, why these things happen, etc. So forgive me, but this is where I was before I knew better. I do know better now. Maybe that's what I will share going forward, what I have learned over the past few years since this time. Thank you for reading, and trying to understand. It's not easy.)
4 comments:
Blessings upon your journey... may you know peace deep within your bones and unfabricated joy... that joy that sits in your heart. You will not always "move forward" and on those days... those days that suck and hurt and seem darker than the others... you will reach in and pull from that joy and that peace that is embedded for safe keeping. You are a light and those that have known you and know you still... recognize blessedness.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words Tricia. You too are a bright light, one I'm happy to have known! It is a journey. We each have one. This is mine. I hope to be able to share it meaningfully with others. Much love to you and your hubby!
Sarah, May God bless you on this journey. I had no idea. I am sorry about that. As a woman and a mother, I am proud of what you are doing for yourself and modeling for your daughters. They will be healthier and stronger because of you. xoxo
Thank you Mary. Your friendship is a blessing to me. Peace to you.
Post a Comment